i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
