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I wannas sexs uuuuu
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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