We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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