Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
