when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
