Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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