i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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