The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
