I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
