I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
