its not stalking. its research.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Randomize
