just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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