dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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