i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
