Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
