Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
