Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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