two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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