Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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