On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
bring money and cleavage
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
