Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
