It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize