And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
