It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Mom said you looked used
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
