She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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