I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
