508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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