At least make sure they are 18
Why
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
