3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Say something about gay babies.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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