dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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