Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
