Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
