I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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