Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you will always have a special place in my vag
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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