So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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