she looked like the before picture.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
