so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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