i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
