Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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