we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
