do herpes really smell.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
