Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
