I could make wine with my vomit
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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