it wasn't lemon gatorade
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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