People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
