I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
