how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
