I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
