I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
