I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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