he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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